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| Dirty Dan Daily | ||
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March 22, 2005 | |
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Sorry For The Lack of Posting I've started up a new site called "The Cub Cave." I've been pretty busy with that as I've noticed I have alot more to talk about when it's about the Cubs then I do on my personal life. I'll try to update this occasionally, but I've put most of my attention on my new site. Check it out if you get a chance, just click on the linkDirty Dan |
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March 2, 2005 | |
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Dirty Dan himself and Gina Here's me and my sexy girlfriend Gina, it's not the best picture but it's all we got right now:
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I'm BACK!!!!!!! Well I'm back, finally right? It's been a few months since I've had my site up so for those of you that don't know, alot has changed since the year began. I have a new girlfriend, and I have to say I've never been with anybody like her, she's great. Love ya babe ;) I just had a birthday too! I'm 23 now, damn I'm gettin old right? Well here's my b-day cookie my sister made for me: Aren't the little robot topping things cool? |
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December 16, 2004 | |
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Stan....that plant hating bastard This happened about a year and a half ago I would say, so I may have some of the details a little off, but you'll get the point....I was living in a barracks in Camp Pendleton, CA. It was about 2 in the morning or so I guess, and it being a weeknight and all I of course was sleeping. I wake up confused thinking my alarm was going off, and I played around with it for a little while until I realized it was someone at my door. I'd been through this before, it was Stan of course, he would randomly get drunk and decide, "hey, i'm gonna go fuck with berry!" Well this time he was drunk with another buddy of ours, who we called Troyer. We called alot of people by their last names in the Marines, it just worked out that way since that's how it was at work and all. At the time I had a pet rat named Coco, and me and Stan and Troyer had this fascination with throwing it. Now hold on animal lovers, don't get your panties all in a bunch! This rat was awesome, it was more of a light "toss" than a throw, and the rat liked it. Well, we at least assumed he did, cause we'd throw him onto the bed and he'd bounce about a foot in the air, then the little bastard would run back to us, and kinda crouch down as if saying "ok i'm ready, BEGIN THE LAUNCH SEQUENCE!" It was pretty damn hysterical. I loved that rat, but back to the story. So I get my tired half asleep ass up and answer the door, and Stans drunk and stumbling in, and then Troyer is right behind him, pretty drunk himself. So I bitch about getting sleep for a while till I finally give in and take the beer Stan's been trying to give to me. We drank for a few hours, and there was a time where I was in the bathroom for a little bit, and when I came out, Stan and Troyer were gone, no sign of em. I look out the door, no Stan...no Troyer. Well what I SHOULD have noticed was my plant was gone as well, but I didn't, this was only realized when I looked back at the night later. So they come back a few minutes later and they keep laughing, I think nothing of it really, we always laughed for no reason when we were drunk. Hell, we did alot of stupid shit for no reason when we were drunk, like the time me and Stan were going to get in some running cop cars and park them somewhere else just for the hell of it. Hey, it sounded like a great idea at the time.....but anyways, they keep laughing, I keep saying "you guys are fuckin stupid, shutup" and we go on like this for about another hour until they finally are leaving. Well I went with Stan to make sure he made it back alright, he couldn't even sit in his chair, how the hell was he gonna make it to the third floor of the barracks? So on the way, Stan gets into a fight with a bush, and the bush wins. Then after about an hour we get up to the third floor and he starts sprinting down the outside catwalk. Now, imagine a drunk man that can't walk SPRINTING down a walkway thats about 4 feet wide. He looked like a bowling ball goin down an alley with those bumper things in the gutter, he was bouncin back and forth like a pinball. Fuckin hilarious. He HAD a beer in his hand, until he busted his ass and it went flying. I've never seen anyone hit the ground that hard. His face was the first thing to hit the ground, while his feet were 5 feet off the ground. I'm on the ground too, laughing my ass off. Well he finally was in his room and I got back to mine........fast forward to the next day I get home from work the next day, from which I got my ass chewed cause I was 30 minutes late, and drunk. Well anyways, I notice the plant I was takin care of for my buddy who was on a field operation, was lookin a little ragged. I get a closer look, and it's all leanin to the side, and the leaves are all twisted and messed up. Then I notice the smell, it smelled like shit! Well turns out, it WAS shit! Someone had shit in my plant! I spent that whole night trying to figure out who'd done it, and came to the conclusion that it was the guy I worked with, named Gibson, that was pissed off at me cause his wife wanted me. So here I am, bitching about it to STAN AND TROYER. They're just laughing, they knew they'd pulled a fast one on me. I was fucking clueless. I didn't find out that it was Stan that had shit in my plant until a few days later, and I was fucking pissed. STAN SHIT IN MY PLANT!!!! What kind of person shit's in a man's plant? And I had given the plant back to Tommy while the shit was still in it, I was like "I don't know why, but your plant smells like shit man." Stan is one of my best friends, he's cool as fuck, but damn he SHIT in my PLANT! So the moral of the story is, don't let a friend get drunk and shit in your plant......or is it, don't leave a plant unattended while a drunken man plots to shit in it? Hmm, take your pick I guess...... HE SHIT! IN MY PLANT!!!!!!!! |
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December 15, 2004 | |
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Macs are great, everyone should own one! Check out my desktop: YODA!! I love that little fella, a little fella....like me. He's the shiz-snap-snam-snizzle! I have an awesome story I'm gonna post tomorrow, it's from when I lived in California, and it involves Stan, beer, a plant and bowel movements. It's gonna be GREAT! Excited? You should be.... |
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November 29, 2004 | |
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I hate m&m's Ever puked up a shitload of m&m's? I have to say, it doesn't taste as good on the way up. And I'd eaten so many m&m's that it was just big gooey globs of chocolate, looked almost like diarrhea. So as i'm puking diarrhea just seein it makes me even more sick, so I puke more. It was pretty disturbing actually, and I don't think I'll touch another m&m for at least a year. Yuck |
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| DIRTY DAN, GINGER SNAP, SNOW, GULA MONSTER, TINA WINA, AMBAM and all BERRY character names and distinctive likenesses thereof: TM & © 2003 Berry, Inc. All Rights Reserved. DIRTY DAN: Trademarks registered in the USA and certain other countries. © 2003 Berry Inc. All rights reserved. |